Modern Dating Rules

When our parents were young, they didn’t have to worry about how the internet and technology has turned us all into sociopathic nightmares who think getting someone's attention consists of creepily 'liking' year-old Instagram photos or scrolling through profiles of people on some location-based app at the very same bar you're in at that exact moment together rather than actually looking around because man, it is hard to order a drink and scroll at the same time.

No, when our parents were young they needed to meet people by going out and about and vetting potential dating options through friends and friends of friends. It was arguably more difficult, sure, but it also allowed them the opportunity to truly process their feelings about a person before being blindsided by a two-hour long dinner with someone who doesn't know the difference between a regular conversation and the "me me me" show.

Below are six dating realities our parents never had to deal with because they grew up in a time where Tinder wasn’t a thing and a Grindr was something used to make hamburger meat.

The Three-Day Text Rule

No matter how great the date went it's earth-shatteringly uncommon to hear anything from the person before at least three days. Our parents never had to worry about the three-day texting rule, but they just didn't understand how big a turn-off seeming too eager can be. No, it's much better to take on the role of pretending to be too cool to care. Even if it means turning down a perfectly nice time at the weekend in place of your couch and a bowl of cup noodles alone.

Inventing Ideas About Them Through Social Media

Ah, if only people's social accounts actually represented who they were. But of course, that'd mean groggy wake-up face and vomiting outside the pub Friday night. And you're right, truly, nobody wants to see that.

But because we see more of them over social media than in real life, getting to know someone over some text banter and maybe a Pokemon meme or two, we have time to let our imaginations run wild and invent who we believe this person will be before ever actually knowing. It's easy to end up being disappointed or to write someone off because they post way too many cat photos before finding out the real deal about them.

The 15-Minute Reply Rule

Once we've broken through the three-day silence (look at that courage!) and we've struck up a friendly/flirty text banter, we know we can never, ever, reply to a text too quickly. What would the other person think? That we're actually looking forward to conversing? Heavens no. We've got to show them just how busy we are, that we have a (very exciting, filled to the brim with excitement, in fact) life without their presence. If we're really good, we'll even throw up a quick pic of the exciting walk you're taking at lunch on Instagram before texting back in about an hour.

Being Catfished

One thing our parents never had to worry about was someone tricking them into believing they were someone they’re not (aka catfishing). They never had to be confronted with an online date that looks absolutely nothing like their pictures, and they’ve never had to deal with the weirdness that comes when someone shows up with a set of balls and a nice wig on.

The Post-Breakup Race To Be Happier

When a relationship does finally end, social media has turned us into monsters who want to make it seem like we’re having the time of our lives even if we’re crumbling inside. This is painful to both parties involved because instead of correctly processing the disappointment and anger that comes with a breakup, we’re too busy posting Instagram photos of our unlimited Blood Mary brunch to hurt the other person with “look how good I am without you!” before drunk crying themselves to sleep.